This is it

Sorry for the long silence. I feel like writing but can’t seem to find the right word to express myself.

I’ve done a lot of thinking lately and do the ‘search myself thing’.

This morning I put on my new clothes, my make up (which I rarely do these days) and my best shoes (I just wear my Olivia Crocs wherever I go before). And guess what, ada lelaki tegur ‘Hi awak’. Which of course aku buat tak layan. Tapinya terdetik jugak la, cantik sangat ke aku hari ni?? The point kat sini bukan la nak mengembang hidung pasal ditegur lelaki tapi aku rasa kalau mood ceria je, yang tak berapa nak cantik pon orang nampak cantik. Confident level pun naik.

After a few weeks of ‘search myself thing’ I’ve come to a conclusion. In order to be happy I’m not going to compare myself with other people anymore. So this is it. The new ME.

1.I’m not going to hate my job anymore.
I realize that whenever people resign, I feel insecure (Why they get a new job, When can I get a new job, Why am I still here and they are moving somewhere else, blablabla).They resign because they hate this job. I on the other hand love my job. Then why should I feel insecure?

Last week I went for a job interview just to prove that I also can get a new job (I’ve decline a few jobs interview before because I don’t feel like going). Just to know that I’m not going to fit into that position. After that horrible interview (the interviewer late, we’ve been waiting for hours) I realize that I love my job (beside all the complaints. Haha). Therefore, while looking for a better position which is suitable for me, I am going to do my job with love and care.

Now I do a lot of journals and reports reading, I realize this job is not so bad. And I’m one of the authors for our publication next year. So how was it? Good, right?

2.I’m not going to wait for him.

It’s not the end of the year yet, but I think it’s the best time to let go. I’ve come to my sense now that whatever feeling that’s still left for him, not love. Just me longing for someone to call boyfriend. Even it is love, I don't deserve this kind of love.

So I don’t care whether my friends is getting married, or always talk about how nice is their boyfriend or going to have a baby. Just be it. I don’t give a damn anymore. Sooner or later, there will be a person who gonna love me for the way I am.

3.Less complaint about leaving the house.
I know I'm not gonna leave the house until I find a new job that is far from the house. Therefore, complaining or not complaining it's still going to be the same. It's me who "menumpang". Then it's me who need to adjust. Conclusion, be patient. Haha.

So this is it. From now on, less complaint, cherish life, pray a lot, be good to people.

InsyaAllah
By:Maher Zain
Lyric from Islamiclyric.net

Everytime you feel like you
cannot go on
you feel so lost
that your so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You cant see which way to go
Dont despair and never loose hope

Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah (3x)
Insya Allah you'll find your way.

Every time you commit one more mistake
you feel you can't repent
and that it's way too late
you're so confused, wrong decision you have made
haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
don't despair and never loose hope

Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah (3x)
Insya Allah you'll find your way
Insya Allah (3x)
Insya Allah you'll find your way

Turn to Allah
He's never far away
Put your trust in HIm
raise your hand and pray

Ooo Ya Allah
Guide my step and dont let me go astray
You're the only one that show me the way
show me the way (2x)
Insya Allah (3x)
Insya Allah you'll find your way

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ME: I'm Wonder Women